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Week Four of college football has come and gone, with some welcome changes that are reflected in the polls. We had crazy endings all over the country, another coach got fired, and there were some impressive performances all around.

Georgia was tested by…Kent State? Chase a bag, Golden Flashes, chase a bag. Ohio State continued their trend of being mindmeltingly awesome on offense by demolishing Wisconsin on Saturday night, and HOW ‘BOUT THOSE UNDEFEATED JAYHAWKS?

However, it is a new week, which means we have another edition of winners and losers, starting with a historic performance from… Fordham?

Winner: Fordham WR Fotis Kokosioulis

If you would’ve told me at the beginning of the season that the most impressive receiving performance of the season thus far would be from Fordham-Ohio I might have laughed you out of the room. However, Fordham receiver Fotis Kokosioulis absolutely put Ohio in a blender on Saturday.

Kokosioulis had 13 catches for 320 YARDS and four touchdowns in their loss to Ohio, setting the record for most receiving yards in a game for the Patriot League. Kokosioulis absolutely crushed Bobcat defenders from the slot, and pulled away from defenders on an 84 yard touchdown as well.

You know how impressive it is to account for almost 64% of your teams’ entire passing offense? ON 13 CATCHES? That’s almost 25 yards per catch, in an actual football game! AND THEY LOST! If it were me, I would be heated if I put up almost as many receiving yards as Iowa has total passing yards and we lost the game.

Either way, Kokosioulis gets a helmet sticker, and probably the longest ice bath in the history of ice baths.

Loser: everyone who watched Auburn-Missouri

To everyone who watched the Auburn-Missouri “football” game:

I’m so sorry. There should be medical compensation for us.

The Tiger War was more like a Tiger… pillow fight, with both teams trying their hardest to lose the game. The Auburn Tigers only ran for 1.8 yards per carry against the SEC’s worst rushing defense, while Missouri acquired the talents of five star freshman receiver Luther Burden in the previous recruiting cycle, and he had a grand total of… zero touches. That’s good football.

On top of that, this happened in the second half:

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the people counting at home, that is 12 consecutive punts. Kirk Ferentz is somewhere salivating at this graphic, wishing he had the might to punt 12 straight times.

Auburn won in overtime 17-14, but not before this game got any more stupid. The Auburn Tigers tried to go for it on fourth and one to continue on their potential game winning drive— and of course they didn’t get it. The Missouri Tigers went on a nine play drive to get all the way down to the Auburn eight yard line, then took two knees to set up Harrison Mevis for a game winning field goal, who, mind you, does not practice kicks in pregame.

And…

This was punishment for the college football fan from God, forcing this game to continue.

Begrudgingly, we head to OT, where Auburn almost throws an interception on the drive, but kicks a field goal to go up 17-14. Missouri gets the ball back, and that’s when things get interesting. The Tigers have a chance to win the game with a touchdown, and RB Nathaniel Peat saw daylight. Unfortunately, he only extended the ball with one hand, and the ball got knocked out. Thankfully, this game was over.

This game was depressing to watch. Neither offense could get anything going, and neither coaching staff actually looked prepared for this game. Auburn head man Bryan Harsin is coaching for his job every week, and boy he must’ve been packing his bags as Missouri set up for a field goal. Missouri, wanting to torture Auburn fans, gave the win to the Tigers, ensuring at least one more week of Harsin ball. War Eagle.

Winner: Stephen F. Austin

Stephen F. Austin?

(/crowd: what?)

The Lumberjacks?

(/crowd: what?)

The pride of Nacogdoches, Texas?

(/crowd: what?)

Texas’ best football team?

(/crowd: what?)

The Lumberjacks opened a Steveweiser and cracked open a can of whoop ass on poor old Warner University, winning 98-0.

That’s right.

98 points.

98.

The Lumberjacks had more passing yards than Warner had total yards. QBs combined to throw for eight touchdowns, and they set the WAC record for points in a game.

The craziest part is that they could’ve had 100, but they kneeled on the two point conversion to end the game.

They kneeled.

Me personally, I’m not taking that kind of disrespect. If you’re gonna beat me, beat me by 100. I want to go down in history as the worst loser. Stab me in the chest with the sword, don’t make me commit seppuku. Beat me like a man! Have some pride!

The Lumberjacks put up more points in a game than Northwestern has the entire season. They threw for more touchdowns in this game than Iowa has at all this season. What I’m trying to say here is: put Stephen F. Austin in the Big Ten West and they might win it.

Loser: Arkansas K Cam Little

I honestly have no words to describe what happened in Arkansas-Texas A&M. Every time they get together things just get really weird and insane, and you know someone’s going home drunk (if they make it home). The 2022 version of this game had it all. A&M found an offense (kinda), Arkansas QB KJ Jefferson slowly moving people out of his way like a carnival float, and a fumble recovery handed off to a teammate who then scored a TD.

However, kicker Cam Little will always be remembered, not because of making a field goal, no. He’ll be remembered for this:

Yes, that ball hit the top of the goalpost and careened away, making it no good and the Aggies win. In my 22 years of life, I’ve seen a lot of doinks. I’ve seen quiet doinks, I’ve seen loud doinks.

I have never seen this ever in my life.

I don’t think Little could do this again if he tried, let alone in one of the most high pressure situations in football. I don’t even think trick shot artists could do this!

I really just want to give Little a hug. It’ll be alright, man.

Winner: Texas Tech

How ‘bout those Red Raiders? Texas Tech stunned Texas 34-31 in overtime, with star Longhorn RB Bijan Robinson fumbling in the Longhorn’s first drive in overtime.

It wasn’t always pretty for the Red Raiders; Texas was up 31-17 midway through the third quarter. But one thing Joey McGuire has instilled in his team is the ability to fight when they were down. This is the second game the Red Raiders have played that’s gone into OT, and they’re now 2-0.

Plus, Joey McGuire said this after the game, which made me want to run through the nearest brick wall:

Loser: Michigan State

Sparty… is everything ok? Michigan State was boat raced by Minnesota 34-7 on Saturday, and the Spartans offense only managed to gain 240 total yards. A week after being dominated by Washington on the road.

Michigan State seems to have no direction offensively. Putting all the trust on QB Payton Thorne’s shoulders isn’t going as expected (132 yards and 2 INTs), and there hasn’t been a receiver that stepped up outside of Jayden Reed.

Defensively, they might have bigger issues. When I tell you they got walked all over, I mean it. The Golden Gophers ran for 240 yards, on five yards per carry. It seemed like whatever the Gophers wanted offensively, they could have it. Michigan State brought in so many transfers on that side of the ball to get the ball rolling, and it just hasn’t worked.

The Spartans schedule won’t get easier, facing Wisconsin, Ohio State and Michigan in three of the next five weeks. Head coach Mel Tucker is going to have to try and figure something out, because that defense cannot continue to get run into the ground in the Big Ten.

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By nflbowl

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